Tell
Me
2nd sem
1996
I think
I’m beginning to fall in love
With someone
who’s gentle as a dove
He seems
nicer day by day
That made
my life full of gay
So help
me please, how he will know
What I
feel inside that continues to grow
If I will
tell him would he listen?
To my heart
that’s full of burden
So tell
me please will he stay nice?
If he will
know what I hide inside?
Fool
1st sem
1997
I’ve got
a feeling no one knows
If I’ll
describe it, it’s like a blooming rose
This is
the first time I felt helpless
In my whole
life that’s full of loneliness
Is this
love for you that gave me enlightenment
For all
the things that heaven has sent
I know
this is not the right time for this
I’d done
everything to make this feeling vanish
But still
I can’t forget about it
Maybe I’m
just a kind of fool to fall in a deep pit
I really
don’t know if my feeling is true
All I know
by now is I really care for you
Tell me
God how will I resists
This stupid
thing that my heart always insists
I think
it’s better for me to quit
Than to
fall with a man in wrong time and place
Even if
it hurts I’m willing to sacrifice
I’ll just
let it go and everything will be alright
There’s
only one thing I want him to bear
This memory
of him will forever linger…
Still
October
1998
Many people
attempted to find
A right
word that will rhyme with mine
Even a
good poet has spent his time
But he
found out it’s only me who has a sign
Who could
make a poem with a sweet sound like a chime
I made
this poem for a special friend like you
You’re
the only one who could lighter my favorite shade—blue
A simple
phone call gave me a big clue
That there’s
someone who really sees me through
In all
my aching even if it is only a flu
True friend
is so rare
And I thank
God He brings you here
To help
me cope and overcome my fears
I cried
in the rain but you still noticed and wiped my tears
It only
shows that you really care
Sometimes
it’s been a hard time and I treat you bad
I thought
you’d leave me that will surely make me sad
But still
you are there even if I get mad
Because
you understand me better, much better than my Dad
I will
never forget you because you run in my blood
I believe
in every word you said
I trusted
you and faith in me is what you get
Don’t break
it please, that’s all I beg
But if
you do fail me don’t be afraid
That I
might get hurt and my feelings for you will fade
I will
still count on you because I am also your
True Friend…
In
His Name
MACL
Morning
broke when I spoke your name
above them
all I see you in fame
redeemer
sent you to keep the flame
calling
your name can save me from vain
Aries and
April said that they linger with you forever
robin sings
when he hears your whisper
virgo the
sixth still remain tender
“i” always
claim that she is hyper, but…
no one
could read between the lines when you’re out there
Caress
accompanied you and became your shadow
and now
they attack me and they always follow
“prevention
is better than cure”, said Dr. Monroe
unicorn
even comes to help me fight this foe
now they
are all ineffective and how it happened, I don’t know
“of course”,
Cupid said it’s all because of you
Love is
one big emergency
unexpected
moment comes and goes everyday
“cease-fire!”
I shouted, but they seem to have no mercy
i am afraid
that someday it will become an EXE
alanis
said it is irony
now I think
it’s just hyperbole
oh God
sting me and don’t let it be
Blue
I looked
around and saw what’s missing
The blue
sky knows what I’m thinking
I already
built a castle from dreaming
The crystal
music in the air is what I’m hearing
The day
has fade in this blue room
Golden
flowers in the yard already bloomed
But still
my hand could not touch the moon
Green leaves
said I would reach it soon
I passed
the door and I heard a call
The mirror
on the wall casts an image blue and small
Silver
tears from her eyes seem to fall
Was it
reflect me or not at all?
The guy
I loved just made me fly
Above the
heaven that’s so high
And now
I’m falling and I don’t know why
Will he
catch me by and by?
I looked
into his eyes straight
Someone
had already taken his bait
I called
all saints because my heart bleeds
But they
just planted these blue seeds
Suddenly
I saw a girl who’s suffering
For the
pain that caused her heart from breaking
I’m wondering
how I gave her the aching
Is it my
fault if I love the guy she’s loving?
The love
I have was so hard to carry
Especially
if someone will be hurt and me, merry
And then
I felt so sorry everyday
That terribly
caused me to worry
I had the
blue pearl from the abyssal
That’s
how deep my love is and how fatal
If he throw
the gem he’s killing me brutal
But my
love for him will still be immortal
I do not
know what is real
I cannot
touch what I feel
He slept
in my memory and now it was sealed
My heart
hates me and became cruel
I was so
lucky I like you blue
Whatever
life brings me you teach me what to do
You are
everywhere, anywhere I go
I’d rather
hurt myself than making his girl like you too
Blue, my
blue, may be I’ll find peace in you
Wandering
I’m in
a big trouble can’t you see?
Please
lend me your ears and understand me
I lost
my heart the other day
Until now
I can’t choose which is the right way
Where my
heart roam and find a good stay
Maybe she
was caught in a web
Will the
spider hurt her or let her live?
Prayer
is my only weapon to keep her safe
If you
saw her, please give her relief
I know
she was seized by your love
Mercy for
her is all that I have
By now
my heart was on somebody’s lap
What should
I do to get her from your trap?
The venom
had already spreads its roots
She’s dying
for your love and that’s the truth
The sun
is waving at me in the horizon
He will
give me the answer this afternoon
Antidote
Your love
is so sweet
So soft
and cold as a breeze
A kiss
from heaven is what I get
My heart
was touched and seized
Friday
the thirteenth has changed its face
The Jinx
brings good luck in this case
Magic words
spells from you lips
That catches
my soul from the cliff
Clincher
phase has just came in
The decision
I made was not a sin
Though
I touched the forbidden fire
I know
it is heaven’s desire
November
is the month through out the year
A love
once new has now grown older
I’ll kill
myself for you darling so dear
My first
love will be my life forever
All of
you means I love you with all my heart
You’re
the antidote when I was poisoned in the dark
You gave
a blaze from just a spark
I know
this will be our good start
I
See
People
are of different colors
They disperse
it by staining others
People
also have their own odor
They share
aroma with their brothers
Everyday
they have different flavor
So your
chance to choose will be greater
Some of
them have a good sense
Others
can’t figure out a little thing
Maybe they
are just so tense
If I were
them I’ll just sing
To have
the answer and know what it means
I know
they don’t wanted any problem to cling
But what
can they do that’s part of the game
Are you
one of those who always laugh?
Every time
his brother commits mistake
Or one
of those who always have reason
Whenever
things around him went wrong
Are you
one who always envy?
Whatever
good things that others have
Or maybe
you always said that you don’t have time
To listen
to other’s heart that’s crying
If you
are one of those, don’t worry
You have
enough time to change your image
We are
human we know how to change
Last
The first
man I saw
The first
man I knew
The first
one who hold my hands
The first
one me made me stand
The first
guy who comes so close
Who sacrifices
and bears the cross
The first
poem is for you
Like the
freshness of the morning dew
For you
I’ll get the first prize—
The first
born who’s Jesus Christ
The first
moment you spent with me
Shows that
you will always be
A part
of every first thing that I have
But one
thing could really make me glad
If the
word “first” will also be “LAST”
Incomparable
What is
in you that made you different?
You are
a man who is prominent
Why did
Jesus choose you to be my heart?
That no
one could ever tear it apart
I see you
though you’re in the crowd
I know
your voice even when noise is so loud
Your gentle
touch I always comprehend
That you
have a love that has no end
Now I happened
to see Mr. Right
In your
eyes having a good sight
All your
words I had swallowed
They are
so good because they are hallow
You are
so different among the rest
It’s the
real you that made you best
I found
all the answers in my quest
Time has
now always have the zest
Boredom
This afternoon
was dark and cloudy
I now see
things that are not lovely
I’m sorry
if I’m not listening to the one who’s holy
Silence
is inviting me to be sleepy
My eyes
is now so sticky
The things
she said was so tricky
The air
I breathe became milky
I wish
I was in the sea holding a Jet Ski
The stone
was now in my body
I want
an ice to break me loudly
Hoping
you are not also happy
So we could
go out together and
…drink
something bubbly
Can
I?
Your are…
The Greenfield
of hope
That made
me cope
Whenever
there’s problem that I must solve
You are…
The river
of dreams
That made
me seen
A different
kind of place that I’d never been
You are…
The path
of happiness
That vanishes
my loneliness
And directs
me to the road of Godliness
You are
the one I cherish
Because
of you my life will not finish
I know
you are kind
But can
I make you mine
Until the
end of time?
Smile
Everytime
I see you smiling
My world
go round and turning
It’s your
smile that made me fly
I saw the
angel and that’s no lie
You
A day with
you seems so fast
Because
it is you who built my heart
I know
you didn’t know what I feel
But all
I needed is you to be here
With
You Only
When I
found myself in the grave
You are
there to save me and make me brave
To face
my enemy you teach me how to behave
By now
and forever I want to be your slave
In this
angry world I don’t have anything
Without
Your love I am nothing
I owe to
You all things and my whole being
A simple
song of praise is all that I can sing
I will
keep your words that make me live
I won’t
let the enemy to stole and throw it
My heart
and soul is only that I can give
You’re
the last hope, with you the world will be saved
It’s
YOU
Mighty
is His power
I kept
your heart within
He makes
me a good borrower
He gave
me this love unseen
The sun
always sinks in the horizon
Your gleaming
eyes echoed my heartbeat
I see your
light around the dark moon
I feel
the touch from your voice beneath
I want
to be with you the whole nightlong
To touch
the star beyond the universe
Just to
hold you close and sing a song
Let us
discover things and our color disperse
Why do
they say that we are wrong?
To be in
love with you is like a dawn
If they
feel my sigh they don’t take it long
Now I know
the meaning of love along
Love is
YOU, it’s you from where I belong
Questions
What would
you do if someone was hurt?
What would
you say if words run out and hide?
What would
you do if she were in vain?
That no
one could take her and ease the pain
If she
always cry and her hope dies
What would
you give to bring her back to life?
If you
saw her smiling and pretending she’s fine
Would you
care for her or give a little time?
If she
said that she could take good care of herself
And could
forget of the grief that time has brought her
What would
you do then to release the heartache?
Will you
pretend that you don’t know that she suffers?
Or just
don’t mind her and takes what life will offer
She is
now in great danger
All she
can give to herself is anger
Why she
couldn’t reach out and fight for her will
She tries
to forget and beg in knee
What would
you do to bring a glee?
Will you
be happy if she won’t show?
But what
then if she truly loves you?
Scenarios
Things
always come and go under the sun
This time
you have them all but later you find they’re gone
Everyday
is a changing scene of one page of your life
If you
look at the past, wondering roams why you’re in a black ‘n white
Time you
lookout today is like tomorrow and yesterday
Often you’re
in a hurry to run after the gold it accompany
Happenings
within yourself are far and near
You’ve
waited daybreak to get along with friends when they’re here
What we
call brand new has already past and history
We cannot
stand from nothing, we only make a story
Faces we
knew are sketches of expressions
To hide
ourselves most of us designed it with falsification
Emotion
is like a Ferris wheel that turns around its bound
Sometimes
it’s up, sometimes it’s down, and you just listen on how you sound
Eyes of
a man are windows of life that close and open
If you
look warmly you’ll know what others feels and their burdens
Love has
many phases that you must be ready if they attack
It is really
wonderful to keep but it also hurts and scars so deep
Friends
are so many but you only have those that you can carry
If you
have the piece of a chapter, true friends are there in tears and in laughter
Noise are
all over, you hear a scream over and over
But ears
you have are covered that made silence to dominate forever
All of
those are scenarios of our life in the world of vanity
Don’t lost
your grip in His words, it’s the only way that gives you security
The roads
that lead you are long and winding
Don’t be
afraid to step and strive to make a good beginning
God is
a just father, He will not let you to enter the wide gate
He always
knocks in your heart, all you have to do is to give your faith
I
Just Lost A Friend
World of
fantasy and reality is where we live
Moving
around the castle that we built
Sharing
thoughts and dreams we want to reach
Imagination
is our only limitation
We acted
like a child, there’s no imitation
You don’t
talk too much, you’re only good in action
There’s
no wall that will block our journey
Freedom
is always ready to take us far away
We know
who we are and what wanted to be
In our
conversation time is always in a hurry
We also
make other people to be happy
Acceptance
is what we learned from day to day
As we count
the days we’ve known each other well
We became
close, that no one could ever tell
Our mind
and soul serves as a good place to dwell
That’s
how things gone far when we are together
It takes
a long span until things finally came over
“Friends”,
we call each other but now I can’t take it longer
We are
filled with joy and became what we are now
If someone
will ask “for what reason”, I don’t know how
I just
can’t figure it out, the answers just cling in the bough
Now it’s
different, we can’t further stop our heart to blast
I’m losing
you my friend, things just happened so fast
We are
now more than that — we are lovers that will last
Our eyes
were only meant to see each other’s mind
But some
people don’t realize, they became so unkind
My heart
then cries and explanation is all I want to find
Whenever
we’re together I find myself floating in the air
Sweet thoughts
and memories is what we share
Even silence
is with us I know that you really care
We have
our special way of understanding what we feel
Our thoughts
turn around in no where like a windmill
No matter
what happens we keep our love, that’s our deal
Even how
far or how hard it will take
I know
we can do it by keeping our hearts awake
Just don’t
give up on our love that’s the best thing that we can make
Broken
Last night
I was in the wilderness
The wind
was cold and no one tries to hold me
The man
I love was there, he has the flame but no warmth
The fire
he keeps was suddenly lost
The other
day he says he loves me
But I found
out he’s not what he used to be
He also
has another girl aside from me
I was freeze
and my heart was broken
I can’t
imagine that the one I love gave me pain
A pain
that nobody could give relief
The light
is dark and the room is lonely
Tears want
to hide but eyes are naked
They show
what’s inside
Happiness
is so hard to get
I cannot
have it, I should pay for the high price
All I can
have now is grief
To look
for a place where no one could see me crying
I want
to be strong
I don’t
want anyone to know that I suffer
I know
they will only make myself little
He gave
me happiness that no one could ever give
But he
also brought me loneliness that’s killing me so bad
Why I am
happy yesterday and now I’m longing for everyday
If that
is what he will offer
I prefer
to keep silent and live in vain
Just
A Thought
When was
the time we held each other?
The time
we kept when we are together
How could
a day pass by without a smile?
A gentle
touch from your love can free a sigh
Why is
it that I can’t see the look from your eyes?
I try to
forget but my heart won’t lie
I wonder
how those things had happened
Maybe it’s
just a test to see what’s in the end
I thought
letting go the man you love is an easy thing to do
But why
is it that setting you free is hurting me so
I thought
that someday I would learn to be just your friend
But it’s
so hard to be one of your pals, my mind could not extend
I thought
my night would be just fine without you in my dreams
But you
always knock at my heart, a heart that you only tame
I thought
the day would be fine without seeing you
But I felt
helpless if I don’t see your shadow in all that I do
I thought
it would be okay if we don’t talk
But my
ears want to hear your voice and be with me in a walk
I thought
it would be possible to drop the love I hold
But I can’t
control my hands they grip on you, they tell the untold
I thought
I could live just a single day without your love
But my
heart and soul were torn by not loving my love
DON’T
Don’t let
the music to fade without a melody
Sprinkle
your passion in every note to have a harmony
Let the
spirit of your voice linger in every particles
Your song
pierce my senses, they do the miracle
Don’t write
anything without a good finale
Blow some
air from within to find the best rationale
Every letter
from your pen depicts the whole thing
Your composition
binds us with a valiant string
Don’t say
anything unless you can keep silence
Allow serenity
to creep on us to let go our tense
Catch my
heart when I throw to you my glance
Love knows
what you think, just always offer a chance
Don’t think
so deep like living in the grave
Soften
and ease your mind with my light shade
Free your
soul from worries of tomorrow
I know
He will not allow anyone to give you sorrow
Don’t throw
anything for every piece that I impart
Keep it
all in a box I know it could be the best art
My fragments
are yours, put them in your pocket
If you’re
lonely pick them up, they could be a precious locket
Don’t leave
a place without your trace
The mark
you left can release me from the maze
Seal your
thought in a still glass
Reminiscence
will explode at last
Don’t let
the smile to turn into frown
Aching
will make your girl to drown
Touching
her bruises is the only cure
She needs
a heart that’s honest and pure
Don’t neglect
to call her name
Her love
for you will always be the same
Only your
whisper can make her turn
Fire is
with you in the dark and cold morn
Don’t take
your love away
Don’t let
her soul to go astray
Don’t let
other girl to take her place
Don’t allow
anyone to give embrace
Don’t surrender
the love you both insist
Don’t just
hang the love that she can’t resist
Don’t,
just DON”T
What
Should I …
What should
I say if you asks me why I love you?
Maybe I
just look up and find answers in your eyes
What should
I say if they ask why it is you?
Perhaps
truth will command beyond all those lies
What should
I say if you ask me how long it will take?
Time will
tell us my dear, our love will never forsake
What should
I say if they ask me how it happened?
I just
give them a smile and let them find the end
What should
I say if you ask me why I chose you?
I think
my heart knows the answer why I really do
What should
I say if words run out and hide?
I’ll just
give my love to you and answers is what you find
What should
I do if you’re not with me?
Maybe I
will be dead in the deepest sea
What should
I do if you will take your love away?
Perhaps
I will get it back and let your heart stay
What should
I do if time for the two of us elapsed?
The world
will stop turning but my love will still clasp
What should
I do if someone will steal my only happiness?
Courage
will defend me for whoever brings me loneliness
What should
I do if you find a girl to take my part?
I think
it’s time for me to fight for my beloved heart
What should
I do if you’re tired of loving?
My love
will comfort and give you rest from wearying
Hush
I feel
the breeze in my skin
Like his
love that brings a grin
There’s
always light in the stillness
That brings
comfort to every restless
Tranquility
crawls all over the place
My solitude
soar up in the haze
The wind
blows and carries his whisper
It breaks
the day and penetrates in my ears
I watched
how leaves gently fall
I wonder
why some things are small
Cotton
floats and goes with his soul
It brings
peace and happiness to all
Lost in
the blueness of the sea
For I am
discovering who is he
A man with
an eyes full of unspoken passion
Endlessly
seeking why I have these visions
Darkness
swallowed my whole being
Only one
man knows my deepest longing
Suddenly
he held a shimmering light
We run
in the wilderness with blindness as our guide
Blossoming
flowers are scenting the air
His face
is always before me and never wear
Silence
surrounds our young spirits above
Hush speaks
with me about his love
…
Girl
Nice to
see wherever she goes
Smiles
squander in the garden of rose
Witty is
she in every word that she says
Grace of
a woman is painted in her face
She has
warm and kind heart
Her voice
will captivate you from the very start
Prudence
is her guide in her way of life
Her love
is powerful to stop the strife
She is
the girl that every man dreamed every night
Even a
prince will compete to win in the fight
Her personality
is very powerful
It can
destroy even the invincible
Her emerald
eyes can see your electrons
A hair
that touches your every neurons
She deserved
to be treated so special
Everything
in her is considered crucial
She can’t
be easily please by a man
But once
she’s in love she gave all that she can
One man
made her turn upside down
She deeply
fall in the eyes that’s so brown
Drowned
in the deepest sea of love
She doesn’t
want to see what’s above
The man
said she’s the “ideal girl” for him
The sweetest
kind that he had never seen
Things
went so fast and memorable
Tears in
her eyes kill her terrible
The man
she loved was only playing a game
But still
she did her best to be the same
Now she
found out that she is the “idle girl”
Empty is
her heart and bewildered
Photographs
are in the drawer
Believing
that she could wipe the memories left in her
Thanks
Thanks
for your care
Thanks
for my share
Thanks
for the kindness
Thank you
for the happiness
Thanks
for the letters
Thanks
for making it better
Thanks
for your patience
Thank you
for the conscience
Thanks
for your advice
Thanks
for all those lies
Thanks
for your smile
Thank you
for making me cry
Thanks
for the call
Thanks
for doing it all
Thanks
for being nice
Thank you
for making me wise
Thanks
for the acceptance
Thanks
for the better at once
Thanks
for the songs
Thank you
for making me strong
Thanks
for the rhyme
Thanks
for making it fine
Thanks
for the times when you came
Thank you
for all those pains
Thanks
for the time
Thanks
for this crazy mind
Thanks
for fooling around
Thank you
for making it sound
Thanks
for the past
Thanks
for not making it last
Thanks
for pretending
Thank you
for the ending
Thanks
for your love
Thanks
for what I’ve got
Thanks
for everything
Thank you
for nothing
For
Many Times
For many
times he is your crush
For many
times you’re in case of a blush
For many
times you fall with him
For many
times you can’t breath within
For many
times you feel love
For many
times you don’t get what you have
For many
times you show you care
For many
times he isn’t there
or many
times you are happy
For many
times you feel lonely
For many
times you know you’re sure
For many
times you’re insecure
For many
times he make believe
For many
times he stole like a thief
For many
times he’s at your side
For many
times he hides
For many
times you cheat to yourself
For many
times you shout for help
For many
times you are unseen
For many
times you want to scream
For many
times you smile
For many
times it’s just for a while
For many
times he says I Love You
For many
times it is not true
For many
times you make it better
For many
times you are bothered
For many
times you try
For many
times you cry
For many
times you give your trust
For many
times he gone so fast
For many
times you’re honest
For many
times he can’t give his best
For many
times you’re weary
For many
times he says sorry
For many
times you are hurt
For many
times he don’t have a heart
For many
times you really miss him
For many
times he gave you pain
For many
times you waited there
For many
times he go with the other girl
For many
times he said he can’t
For many
times you understand
For many
times you try to help
For many
times he only care for himself
For many
times you want to forget
For many
times you don’t even regret
For many
times you want to be free
For many
times things can’t let it be
Sorry
Sorry for
the mistakes I’ve done
For making
your nerves to run
Sorry for
sometimes I’m gone
In the
times that I didn’t come
Sorry for
the problems that I gave
For only
giving you heartaches
Sorry for
many times I don’t believe
In many
words that you said
Sorry for
making you to worry
For sometimes
I only make a story
Sorry for
making you to hurry
Yet I still
can’t give you the glory
Sorry if
I am in love
But that’s
all that I can have
Sorry if
that’s all I’ve got
For me
that’s the best that I had
Sorry if
I am always bad
For many
times I made you sad
Sorry for
making you mad
If I can’t
make things to make you glad
Sorry if
I lied
For all
the things that I hide
Sorry for
my foolish pride
If I can’t
tell you what’s inside
Sorry for
not being a good daughter
If I can’t
make it to be better
Sorry if
I can’t give you the laughter
If I am
there only to bother
Sorry for
the frustrations
For my
dreams that are only illusions
Sorry for
the lost emotions
Just always
putting you in confusion
Sorry for
making your load heavier
If you
feel that you can’t take it longer
Sorry if
“SORRY” is only I can offer
But I know
this will bring us closer together
The
Live End
Everything
has a beginning
All of
us want a good ending
No one
knows how things started
But everyone
is certain for what they wanted
You can’t
tell why things are like that
Only time
can bring you for what you’ve got
Humans
always have their own plan
Struggling
everyday until the sun’s gone
Life is
mysterious that no one can figure out
Even you
are yourself you still have a doubt
If you
are really who and what you are
You can’t
be yourself even you travel so far
You do
your best to be somebody
But you
still feel that you are nobody
People
always have great expectations
That always
gives you many limitations
You can’t
be me
He can’t
be she
We are
who are we
Don’t compare
yourself to anybody
Someone
you expect to lean on
If time
takes it all and you’re all alone
Is the
one who pushes you down
In deep
troubled water and made you drown
It’s painful
if you discover the real end
Although
you cheat to yourself but you can’t pretend
That what
others did doesn’t matter
But it
hurt so bad and can’t hide in your laughter
If that
happens don’t be afraid
To begin
another life ahead
God is
there that you can depend
He always
gives you the live end.
Don’t
Follow
Fear is
just a state of mind
In facing
life you don’t have to be blind
Do what
you know is right
Be not
afraid if you’re in the fight
Listen
to your heart desire
Don’t let
anyone dictate on what you must try
Walk away
and begin your adventure
There are
always things ahead for every creature
Life is
like a race
Do your
best to get the ace
Whatever
the cost that you must pay
God will
help you, just do whatever he says
If in the
wilderness you saw a path
Don’t follow
‘cause someone already crossed that
Make a
smooth way of your own
Leave your
own trace, don’t clone
|
Forgive
me
January
9, 2K
Everyday
I live with a different life
Experiencing
happiness and strife
Confined
with the world of mine
Make believing
that I am always fine
Be with
friends who help me all the way
I tell
them "Don't bother, I can manage anyway"
Deep inside
I knew I'm totally fallen
A smile,
a laugh... I have it but it's still achin'
Don't mind
me, nobody knows how I feel
Fake the
day, it's hard to be real
I thought
of the things I've said and done
Did I make
it worthwhile or hurt someone?
I go on
to my life with what I have
Everything
I got, except this love
Sometimes
I feel I'm alone and nobody cares
My friends,
I thank them, but still feel I'm not near
This self
of mine I don't understand
Time came
in when nobody can lend a hand
How to
go on with this broken heart?
Broken
life and dreams don't know where to start
I cried
and cried a lot with great fear
"My child
don't cry, I'm here with you" He whispered
"Just waiting
to tell me you need my help"
I look
at Him feeling guilty with myself
How I spent
my days selfishly without Him
Now He's
the only one selflessly helping me within
I recall
the times when I seem to be bad to others
Why can't
I be like my Heavenly Father
"Forgive
me please" to whom I hurt and suffer
"Oh GOD
forgive me, I'm a sinner!"
If
somehow you’ll know
November
21, 1999
I know
I can’t hide this feeling
My love
for you gives me aching
It’s still
you I always longing
Yet I smile
and make believing
But can’t
get over from your loving
If somehow
you’ll know that you’re still the one
The one
that I love, my only dream man
Keeping
all the things you’ve said and done
Please
don’t go and never be gone
Don’t worry
about me I’ll always understand
This love
fools me many times
But I rather
be foolish to make you mine
Tell me
once and I’ll do to make you feel fine
I know
you can’t love me, I see the sign
But it’s
not the end as long as the sun shines
If somehow
you’ll know what I hide
Keep it
as a secret deep inside
Just listen
‘coz I might again collide
The world
can’t understand me if I show it outside
Sometimes
it eats me up with a foolish pride
You see
how hard, everyday I try
Try not
to show my tears when I cry
Hoping
someday this feeling will fly
Though
it will fly, I only made another lie
Because
I realized we’re under the same sky
If somehow
you’ll know that my love for you is true
Don’t ask
me anything if you don’t feel the same way too
It’s better
to hate me and consider me as your foe
Than to
leave something that will make my life forever blue
If you
found that you don’t love me, there’s nothing I can do
Please
pretend that you don’t know,
…my love for you,
if somehow you’ll know
I
Couldn’t be
November
20, 1999
I hate
the floor where you stand
It should
be me reaching your hand
When you
walk I should be there
I should
be the one who gives you care
I hate
the wall where you lean on
It should
be me helping you alone
When you’re
tired of life’s tests
I should
be the one who gives you rest
I hate
your bag you always carry
It should
be me easing your weary
When you
feel you can’t go on
I should
be the one watching you ‘till dawn
I hate
the shoes that you wear
It should
be me taking you everywhere
When you’re
lost and go astray
I should
be the one helping you find a way
I hate
the sky above you
It should
be me watching all you do
When you
can’t reach your dreams above
I should
be the one to pull it down like dove
I hate
the stars you’re watching
It should
be me with you wishing
When the
stars stop twinkling
I should
be the one up there shining
I hate
the air that you breathe
It should
be me you always take
When you
feel that the world is so small
I should
be the one catching you if you fall
I hate
the rain that gives you kiss
It should
be me bringing you bliss
When the
rain gives you pain
I should
be the one keeping the flame
I hate
myself ‘coz I couldn’t be
The one
who should always be
There for
you and let you see
The love
I had only for you but …
why I couldn’t
be?
Only
November
17, 1999
Only a
moment can build a day
Happy or
sad we will repay
Be thankful
if you’re here today
Remember
time never stay
Only a
dream makes things come true
To know
where to begin and what to pursue
Like a
dreamer’s dream long time ago
We must
have courage in order to grow
Only if
you risk you’ll find success
Don’t be
afraid it’s part of the process
If you
fail, don’t consider it your loses
Risking
proves you’re one of the greatest
Only a
smile can lighten a heart
Can bring
a hope, if life’s tear apart
Smile once
and find it a good start
With that
simple thing, you’ve done your part
Only a
prayer can make impossible
A fervent
one makes your life simple
To change
those things you don’t like at all
Spend a
little time to save many souls
Only a
friend can make you happy
To know
the essence of love and harmony
Who gives
comfort and eases pain slowly
Treasure
their presence for life’s eternity
Only a
love can set you free
One life
to make for you and me
One God
to cry on and help you see
That you’re my
special friend – one and only
If
ever
November
2, 1999
If ever
I pass you by
And greet
you with a silent “Hi”
Maybe it’s
the only time I forget to cry
A moment
to wear a smile with a deep sigh
If ever
it’s only the two of us
In case
you see me in a blush
And no
words to came out in hush
I only
wanted those moments to last
If ever
I look into your eyes
And there’s
no word to hear my lies
The look
you bring can lift me high
And suddenly
fall in an empty desire
If ever
I ask you something
And share
a wishful thinking
Just listen
or answer me nothing
And believe
me for what I am telling
If ever
love crosses our ways
Thinking
we could make it from yesterday
I know
it really sounds crazy
But this
is because of you honey
If ever
you hear me no more
And see
how my spirit soars
To reach
you, the only one I adore
No second
thought of loving you forevermore
If ever
I made you sad
Of the
things I did in the past
Sorry if
I seemed so bad
Your happiness
is what I pray to our God
If ever
you don’t see me
Don’t ever
think I go so far away
I just
try to forget and face reality
Keep in
mind I’m here with you thru eternity
If ever
again we find each other
Just don’t
promise me forever
Let’s make
another time to remember
If forever is now,
if ever…
Too
bad to be true
October
31, 1999
I’ve been
searching night and day
To get
you out of my way
I tried
so hard to get over you
Even to
myself I’ve been so untrue
Time is
so slow for those who wait
Waiting
to forget you is just a waste
I’d been
a cheater for so long
Keeping
a smile, pretending to be strong
I can’t
make it, there’s no way to get out
Oh God
I pray, I prayed so loud
Then I
tried to be your friend
Maybe it’s
the best way for this feeling to end
How nice
that we talk to each other
But I became
weaker to get this over
What should
I do? I don’t even have a clue
This is
helpless, living a life in blue
My friends
said someday I would be fine
I should
just wait for the right time
I asked
myself why I have this love?
And get
an empty answer from above
All things
must have an ending
But I think
our end isn’t in the right timing
Don’t hate
me if sometimes I ignore you
It’s so
hard for me to do that, don’t you know?
Every part
of me is made up of lies
I can’t
help myself when I look into your eyes
It’s better
not to show up what is inside to you
‘Coz sometimes
it’s too bad to be true…
If
this is the Last
October
17, 1999
If
yesterday was the beginning
Of the
love that seems to have no ending
If the
words ain’t coming
And the
tears were spilling
Then this
day will be leaving
If you
care to understand
Then go
on and take my hand
If you
want to be my man
I’ll do
all that I can
Just don’t
write my name in the sand
I feel
the love but can’t keep it
Holding
it back until the day we’ll met
My mind
is running out of my head
If the
pain I feel was so deep
Then a
little time is all I need
If this
is the last rain to fall
In my confused
and hungry soul
Then I
must stop this feeling to crawl
Before
it bites me and lost it all
And this
day will be for the untouchable
If this
is the last kiss goodbye
And the
last time a hear you sigh
Don’t ever
set me free and fly
If this
is the last time to lie
Then it
should be my last cry
If you’re
the one whom I’ll give my trust
Please
don’t take it in just a blast
If leaving
me is a must
Please
don’t break my heart so fast
Just love me today
if this is the last
My
Friend
October
16, 1999
You
are someone who knows to see
Little
things are important whatever it may be
You share
a hope when I am down
You ask
me “Why” when I frown
You have
the guts to tell that I am wrong
Beside
me you are there to get along
I share
to you those foolish things I made
I cry to
you and tell the things that I hate
Sometimes
I doubt that you might not understand me
So I just
keep it inside and pretend that I have this glee
Then I
found out later that you have that loving hand
Even I
made a mistake you always understand
You always
talk to me even if I don’t listen
You don’t
get tired to tell me once again
I really
know that I am a big fool
Just tell
me if you lost your patience at all
I know
there are times we hate each other
But it’s
part of life to make us better
There’s
no chance of missing you
‘Coz I
know you’re always here to love me so
Please
don’t expect great things from me
I’m afraid
I might fail and might not be
Just accept
me now for who I am
And let’s
be happy for what we will become
I can’t
imagine without you by my side
If the
storm comes you’re the best place to hide
Sorry if
sometimes I made you cry
And thank
you for giving me another try
We have
our dreams, just simple one
Those dreams
I shared with you will never be gone
Yes it’s
true that love is free everywhere
But it’s
the hardest thing to get even if it’s near
But I tell
you friend just be true to yourself always
So that
you’ll never regret when we part our ways
All
Enough
October
9, 1999
Loving
you is a wonderful thing
Loving
a man who love another is the saddest thing
To know
that I’m a fool is all okay
I just
want to be true to myself all the way
There’s
no chance that I will forget
You are
there in every breath that I take
They say
time heals a broken heart
For me
it’s only you who could bring it from the start
One day
I know I’ll get a chance
To wear
a smile and keep it at once
Free as
a wind to pass you by
And ask
something foolish… Why?
I know
I am not the one you want in your way
I am not
here to bother in your happy day
Just don’t
mind me when I’m around
I will
be gone if that’s what you want
Having
you back is not my intention
Neither
gaining your love and your affection
I just
want to release what I feel
Maybe that’s
one way to bring a heal
It’s so
clear that we are not meant to be
It really
shows that you love somebody
I said
to myself it’s so unfair
But it’s
enough for me to love you even you don’t care
Just always
remember I’ll always be here.
Blue-eyed
Man
June 19,
1999
You
walk along with your enchanted smile
You look
so deep with your blue eyes
I come
to search what is in you
That made
everything in me to be blue
You talk
to me with your soft sweet voice
I was amazed,
stunted and have no choice
You are
the one I was longing for
I was trapped
and in love with you for sure
Your laugh
is the music in my soul
Your arms
serve as my tough wall
I know
that you will be my man
That I
can lean on if there’s no place to run
But there
are things that are not meant to be
Our love
for each other is so hard to see
Why time
allowed me to be with you?
Then suddenly
I must let you go
You are
there with someone you love
So happy
and contended of what you got
I know
deep inside you were also hurt
There’s
nothing that we can do we must be far apart
You live
your life the way it is
Take whatever
comes to have a peace
I saw you
there again with a fraud grin
You are
the blue-eyed man that I’ve seen
THEM
June 12,
1999
They
insult me without thinking
My self-respect
is now wasting
They laugh
at me without knowing
Making
fun with what I’m having
I try to
live the way they want
But they
try harder, they made me blunt
They betray
me, and made me a fool
I need
help, but there’s no one to call
I search
the place over and over
But the
puzzle gets longer and longer
I assured
my self to get nearer
But they
push me even harder
I try to
impress them for what I can
They praise
me, but just for fun
They don’t
see me as part of existence
Watch all
my moves in the rail fence
I reach
harder to make them satisfied
But they
climb higher with their thinner pride
They treat
me like a little bad child
That causes
my crazy mind to get wild
I strive
to be with them and understand
They only
want me to do what they command
I think
I need a tiny space and little freedom
They control
my life in their powerful palms
They made
me strong but I get weaker
They belittle
me and made me denser
They call
me stupid as I came
Who made
my useless self? It was THEM
It’s
Time
I&Phine
June 13,
1999
It’s
time to leave the past
All things
aren’t worth to last
I must
give all my guts
To say
that it’s a must
It’s time
to let you go
Having
you is hurting me so
You’re
giving me a big clue
That I
am not worthy to love you
It’s time
to take a rest
To heal
a heart you put in test
All I’ve
done to you I have no regret
I gave
all that I can and that’s my best
It’s time
to break the rule
Forever
means it’s for a while at all
Time to
wake another fool
You drive
away a loving soul
It’s time
to take a back
To sort
out feelings cracked
It’s time
to clear my mind
It’s time
to show up behind
But don’t
you think it’s really time?
‘Wish
I Didn’t Know
June 16,
1999
I realized
how lucky I was to have that kind of love
Few things
to remember but all are worth to have
How I wish
I don’t have feeling to know happiness
I just
wish there were none so I could be in stillness
Is it magic
when we both meet each other’s destiny?
And thought
we could be forever through eternity
Wishing
time will not end in our wonderful journey
We wish
we were angels flying in heaven peacefully
We wanted
simple things and dreams of our own
We talk
sincerely, uttering each other’s vow till dawn
Wishing
there’s no ending of the love that we feel
Keeping
the faith in our heart to make it all real
Suddenly
all things we built collapsed in just a second
The trust
I only have was gone, you can’t make a stand
You ripped
a soul with your deceiving word and heart
‘Wish I
don’t have a mind to know that it tears me apart
‘Wish I
don’t know the truth behind your lies
So I could
be happy until now even if I cry
‘Wish I
could reach all things you wanted
To comfort
you with all your wishes granted
How I wish
I was a fool all the time
To be with
you even though you can’t be mine
How I wish
I don’t have these eyes
So I could
not see how I painfully dies
Still wishing
for the day to come
That you’ll
come back and never be gone
I really
wish I didn’t know
That until
now I’m crazy in love with you
Stay
A While
July 29,
1999
All
alone walking in the road
Trying
to make a single step out of the cold
Thinking
that you are there to hold
If you
stay a while will it make me feel good?
Looking
back to feel you once more
There’s
no way out of what I’m living for
The time
has come to close the door
If you
stay a while will you come with me for sure?
Sweet little
things and memories are always there
When you’re
gone loneliness and pain is what I bear
I need
someone to help me out but you’re not here
If you
stay a while would you really care?
It’s hard
for me to see the light
My feeling
is only for you that I must fight
I was afraid
if I can’t win it tonight
If you
stay a while will I be all right?
But if
our love was not meant to be
Though
it’s really hard to set you free
I’ll let
you go and let you see
If you
stay a while can I be me?
If you
leave now can I have your smile?
With your
loving arms to guide me in the aisle
And your
promises even if it’s too far mile
And one
more thing, please, stay awhile
If
I Can’t
July 30,
1999
If I can’t
forget all moments we share
Will time
bring me back to see you there?
To speak
in silence with our eyes together
And smile
awhile without any fear
If I can’t
leave our past behind
Will this
day clear my crazy mind?
I must
go on and try to find
But I only
see you like I was blind
If I can’t
let my feelings go
Will you
hate me like a foe?
If there’s
nothing that I can do
Please
help me see and let me know
If I can’t
face the world around
Will there
be hope that will abound?
I feel
I was in the deepest down
Can you
help me to touch the ground?
If I can’t
accept the reality
Will there
be truth to set me free?
I can’t
imagine seeing myself with glee
I am confused
to what will I be
If I can’t
see right from wrong
Will you
be there to make me strong?
I want
to be with you all alone
To sing
again our simple song
If I can’t
hold you once again
Will there
be way to release the pain?
The night
is only for eyes in the rain
Is there
a point for me to begin?
If I can’t
make it with another day
Will you
bring tomorrow on my way?
If I’ll
ask you what would you say?
Maybe you’ll
throw all things away
If I can’t
see you happy
If I can’t
feel that you’re okay
If I can’t
try to understand
What would
I do if I can’t?
I
Give Up
June 5,
1999
There's
a place that I could reach out
I could
dance, run, hide and shout
Talk with
everyone to what it's all about
I see myself
without any dirt of doubt
All is
fine and simple as it is
It was
real, He granted my simple wish
All moments
are mine that I didn't miss
I know
it's for awhile but I'm happy at least
I was having
different emotions
Like travelling
thousands of oceans
I do what
I want without any reaction
You care
and love me without any intention
If I choose,
I won't leave the place
I don't
like this real world of maze
I won't
live with people of fake face
Don't want
to lie just to win the race
I could
be me who run my own world
When I
was there I'm with our great Lord
You understand
me without a single word
I have
you and all things that I can afford
So I wait
for this day as far as the sun is gone
And I pray
that you’ll be there to make us one
To be with
you forever until our time is done
I give
up reality and wait for that dream to come
Greatest
Fear
I was lost
in the maze
Confused
with your phase
I find
myself inside me
And you’re
still there I always see
I traveled
in different places
And found
out that I followed your traces
I can run
to leave the past
But can’t
hide behind a mask
I’m afraid
to move a little
It’s delicate
to hit the brittle
I’m afraid
to sleep at night
You might
be in my dream holding me tight
I’m afraid
to wake up in morning
Maybe I’ll
see you tomorrow smiling
I’m afraid
to be happy
Because
I don’t want to be lonely
I’m afraid
to go outside
They might
hit me and I might collide
I’m afraid
to discover something
I know
it will ruin everything
I’m afraid
to reach out
I don’t
want to hear a shout
I’m afraid
to care again
Caring
is just a pain
I’m afraid
to expect anything
I choose
to have nothing
I’m afraid
to look at the star
I know
that you are very far
I’m afraid
to breathe
I might
take-in your grief
I’m afraid
to count the time
Because
it is your sign
I’m afraid
for a day to come
It might
bring us together as one
I’m afraid
if they see me
They might
not set me free
I’m afraid
to cry for help
No one
knows my real self
I’m afraid
to lose my heart
I’m sure
someone will tear it apart
I’m afraid
to touch the invincible
It will
kill me terrible
I’m afraid
to love and be loved
It might
be you again
…the greatest
fear that I have
Sucks
Voices
disturb
I was scared
Light is
dark
Dark is
your mark
Night is
a hell
You whisper
like bell
Time kills
The blood
spills
You broke
a dream
Then bring
a scream
Stole the
day
But you
must pay
I was in
disgust
Cracked
faith and trust
You buried
a soul
I fell
in the hole
You use
You abuse
I have
frustrations
Full of
intimidation
I was shot
and died
I hunt
but you hide
I don’t
have the luck
Life sucks
Bug
I saw you
there standing
With piece
of life you’re holding
You grip
others like a leech
You give
care with an itch
Lay at
night in the bed of lies
Night for
you is perfect and nice
Your smile
is so untrue
Who are
you? I don’t have a clue
You don’t
know what is a friend
Using people
and just pretend
Playing
with emotions is your game
Don’t you
think you will get the same?
Brain is
your powerful weapon
I beg you
to take some precautions
Your life
is out of sight
Your inner
self is where you hide
The show
you made is now ending
Make a
change on your doings
Don’t destroy
your precious self
It’s only
you who could give help
Bear in
mind that you’re not alone
Your true
friends are your real home
Don’t let
your rust let them go
You must
remove the bug in you
Never
Never say
never
Never say
forever
Never say
it’s over
Never sail
in two rivers
Never play
the fool
Never be
so cruel
Never let
a heart to rule
Never try
to get them all
Never live
in the past
Never believe
it will last
Never make
your feeling blasts
Never rip
a heart so fast
Never be
in haste
Never keep
the wastes
Never caught
in two case
Never fake
your face
Never give
up easily
Never go
on freely
Never load
a heavy
Never say
maybe
Never fall
in love
Never satisfied
for what you have
Never free
like a dove
Never look
above
Never be
broken again
Never want
to feel the pain
Never go
insane
Never destroy
a name
Never see
me cry
Never make
a lie
Never say
goodbye
Never went
too high
Never be
in disgust
Never say
it’s a must
Never let
a shadow cast
Never ever
trust
The
Corner
I hate
to see you when you’re here
But I want
to be with you if you’re not near
I hate
the way you look at me
But I like
to show and let you see
I hate
to see how you smile
But I love
to have it even your distance is in mile
I hate
to feel and hear your voice
But I seek
for it and I have no choice
I hate
to hear our song
But I sing
it to go back from where I belong
I hate
the place that we once been
But I go
there to feel you once again
I hate
to read all your letters
But I keep
it to make me feel better
I hate
to treasure all your memories
But I remember
how sweet your stories
I hate
the times that passed by
But I try
to spend a moment to sigh
I hate
to recall all your promises
But I hold
on them as my wishes
I hate
to feel you in the air
But if
I don’t, I think it’s unfair
I hate
to see you with your girl
But I must
accept the fact that you can’t be here
I hate
to dream of dreaming you
But I see
you when I sleep and there’s nothing I can do
I hate
to caught myself crying
But my
tears were there like I was dying
I hate
myself because I fall
But I can’t
do anything at all
I hate
the way I’m missing you
But I am
weak to fight ‘coz I still love you so
I hate
to lie and cheat to myself
But I think
I must, to get some help
I hate
to hate how you treated me
But I feel
the pain that you just can’t see
I hate
to love you and keep you in my head
But I was
caught in the corner of love and hate
Have
You?
Hope you
are happy everyday
If you
ask me I don’t know what to say
Most of
the times I just pretend
That I
am okay for what the day will send
I want
to be with you, I miss you so bad
But life
is so unkind they made me sad
I want
to know why He let me fall
Then all
of the sudden life has no meaning at all
Nothing
last forever in this world
But the
memories of you are my only sword
You once
made me feel that I am special
But loving
someone like you is lethal
I’m always
sitting in an empty chair
Always
thinking that life is so cruel
What happened
is just a mess
And life
must go on, no more, no less
Have you
heard the sweetest poem?
That just
for awhile it gives you joys
Have you
tried to watch the falling rain?
It’s like
the past that gives me pain
Have you
seen yourself in the mirror?
And made
you to be your own juror
Have you
faced the day with a true smile?
Or just
glance with it with your wet eyes
Have you
go to bed with a peace of mind?
And travel
in your dream and get what you find
Have you
gone far away and try to escape?
Or stay
and adjust with your own fate
Have you
caught yourself daydreaming?
And see
me again and know what I’m thinking
Have you
given me a cry?
And wish
to have another try
Have you
missed me somehow?
The way
we spoke each other’s vow
Have you
looked again into my eyes?
To see
the truth in your lies
Have you
tried to do something?
To keep
my heart from bleeding
Have you
offer a little prayer
Believing
you will soon hear laughter
Have you
said the words left behind?
That surely
changes my grounded mind
Have you
ever fall in love with me again?
But this
time we both know that our love is forbidden
HAVE YOU?
Instinct
They live
They lie
They smile
They cry
We see
We’re blind
We grow
We blow
You breathe
You ripped
You sail
You fail
I love
I lost
I tear
I learned
You see,
I sink
Life is
instinct
When
When you
came
Nothings
the same
When you
passed
Your shadow
casts
When you
looked
I was hooked
When you’re
near
Music is
what I hear
When you
speak
You made
me sick
When you
smile
I walk
in the aisle
When you
hold me
You stung
like a bee
When you
whisper
I float
like a feather
When you
love
I died
in your lap
When you
lie
All I do
is cry
When you’re
gone
Life has no place
for fun |
A
dose of thought...